Keep on, Keepin' on.

Date: 01/12/2010
Starting Weight: 219.6
Current Weight: 171.4
Goal Weight2: 155
Loss Since Last Weigh In: 3.2
Total Weight loss: 48.2
Pounds left to lose: 16.4

My first blog of 2010! Start of a new year and now only 16 pounds away from my second goal weight. I was hoping as the months went by this would get easier and easier. Truthfully, some days it’s an old habit that takes no thought or effort. Others, it can be even harder than the first day I started. Sometimes I have two mentalities going on inside of me. Strong mentality. I know deep down that whatever food I want that isn’t healthy, it won’t taste as good as I am imagining. I also know that after the first bite, it’s all just a bunch of the same thing. Honestly deep down it’s not worth it. Stick with what works and what has been working for me. Keep striving, that my goal isn’t that far off. Then I have this little devil on my shoulder, it says “look how much you’ve lost!” “You can have a few of those, what will it hurt?” “You have done so well these past few months, a couple steps back won’t kill you.” Sometimes I feel like this is a constant battle inside my head. I am probably being over dramatic, but sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that feels that way.

I went shopping for a new outfit for this weekend. Some friends and I are going on a short road trip to go out dancing. My closet these days, has been pretty depressing. Every couple weeks I go through my super cleaning mode and spring clean. In the few short months I have been on Medifast, I don’t have one piece of clothing from when I began. Everything was way too big on me. Luckily here and there I found great sales and bought a few shirts and pants. Otherwise I would be rocking it Old Testament style like Eve in the Garden of Eden. (FYI: I mean naked lol).

This “problem” is both liberating and frustrating. I want to dress nice and start to show off my new self. I also am embracing being more feminine. I just don’t want to invest too much money in clothing that probably won’t fit me a month or two from now. I don’t have that kind of money to throw around. So for now, I settle with a few cute things and a lot of average, plain, sales items. Later down the road, as a reward for making my final weight I can start to replenish my wardrobe. Right now I am fitting into a size 12. I can’t imagine it being possible to get to single digit size clothing. I can even shop in the juniors section of department stores (just in a large size). Sometimes I can’t believe it, despite the proof that is in front of me I still don’t believe it can get much better than this. The proof is in the Medifast pudding!

My newest order, just showed up last night. It feels good, having a full cupboard of my meals. I hate when I get down to the last week or so and have to really start to spread it around. I tend to over stock a bit. I guess that’s better than running out. Yesterday I was down to the wire.

“Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.”
-Unknown Author

Keep up the good work everyone, remember if you stumble there’s always tomorrow.
<3 Tiffany